By Alice Thorogood
Alice Thorogood has been the parent of three children in the Waldringfield Cadet Squadron for the last eight years. She and her husband Frank have been fully involved with the practicalities of race management, regatta organisation and committee work as well as ferrying their own children and their dinghies to innumerable events at home and abroad (including world championships as far away as Australia). Cadet sailors must retire at 17. Suddenly it’s all over.
Alice used the lyrics of the Baz Luhrman song ‘everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen)’ to reflect on the friendships she’s made and the experience gained.
Ladies and gentlemen of the cadet class of 25:
Go to the South Cerney open.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, camping at the SC open would be it.
The long-term benefits of attending this open have been proved by the existence of enduring friendships beyond the class, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering cadet experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your kids crewing, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of having a crew.
Until they’ve grown, but trust me, in 8 years, you’ll look back
At the photos Tim Hampton took of your sailor and recall in a way you can’t grasp now
How relaxing it is to have a crew and how fabulous it is not to have the responsibility of towing and paying for a cadet dinghy
You don’t have a much disposable income as you think.
Don’t worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to persuade Arkey not to raise the A.P. because of a 10 degree wind shift.
The real troubles in your regatta
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
Like kit that’s been left at Grafham and pings up on WhatsApp at 4pm on some idle Sunday evening
Send your kids out in conditions that would scare you
Don’t be reckless with other people’s boats
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
Polish hulls
Don’t waste your time on jealousy of other kids sailing
Sometimes they’re ahead, sometimes they’re behind
The race is 45mins long and in the end all that matters is they’ve enjoyed it
Remember the trophies they receive and don’t forget to get them engraved
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep their old regatta tags, throw away their old uneaten boat snacks
Rinse wetsuits
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know anything about sailing
The most interesting crew parents I know
Didn’t know at start of Cadets when briefing was or how to read an NOR
Some of the most interesting helm parents I know still don’t
Book accommodation in good time
Be kind to your non cadet friends
You’ll miss them when they’re gone
Maybe they’ll make the world team maybe they won’t
Maybe they will win the inlands, maybe they won’t
Maybe they will have to bring their cold crew in after one race, maybe they will be the first round the windward mark and hold their position to win a selector
Whatever they do, don’t congratulate them too much
Or berate them either
Your children only care about the going to the after party and so does everyone else’s
Enjoy your dry buddy, use it every way you can
Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Fit your own sail numbers, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the Racing rules of sailing even if your kids don’t follow them
Do not read travel magazines, they will only make you feel jealous.
Get to know the location of your kids sailing gloves, you never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be nice to your fellow cadet parents, they’re your best link to your sanity
And the people most likely to talk to you on long days in the dinghy park
Understand that non sailing friends come and go
But a precious few, who hold on
Work hard to bridge the lack of free weekends and the fact that you will now be spending all non sailing time bimbling with a cadet
For one day your children won’t sail a cadet and you’ll need their friendship.
Be a mark layer once but stop before it makes you hard
Man the mother ship once but stop before it makes you soft
Travel to all open regattas
Accept certain inalienable truths
Entry Prices will rise, some class members will moan but not help, your child will helm
And when they do, you’ll fantasize that when they were crew
Kit Prices were reasonable, wetsuits didn’t smell of urine
And class members respected their committee
Respect your committee
Remember they are volunteers with their own sailors
Maybe you think they’ve made the wrong decision, maybe you’ll think it’s ok to send them rude emails
But unless you’re willing to volunteer yourself keep your mouth closed.
Don’t care too much about your hair
by the time you’ve been on the rib for the day it will be like a birds nest anyway.
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the buoyancy aid pouch, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it’s worth
But trust me on the on the South Cerney open
Alice also wrote these three other articles while her children were part of the WSC cadet squadron: